We are supposed to be happy during the holidays. After all, Santa is cheerful, bright colors fill the scene, gifts are exchanged, and Christmas and New Year’s parties are everywhere. People say, “Merry Christmas” and “Happy New Year,” not “Depressed New Year.” Even Scrooge turns around in the end. So why do so many adults struggle to get through the holidays without feeling down, depressed, sad, or lonely?
Part of the problem is that adults are the ones managing Christmas, not the beneficiaries, as they were in their childhoods. After reaching a certain age, Christmas can never feel the same for many people. The magic of waking up to presents, a beautiful tree, and a cozy fire (if you live in New England!) is now replaced by hurried shopping for gifts, paying bills, and trying to balance work with holiday commitments. Reminiscing about an idealized past can bring about feelings of painful nostalgia, sadness, and loneliness.
The New Year, in some ways, brings the promise of better things to come, but it also stirs feelings about past failed expectations and disappointments. It emphasizes the passage of time and the fleeting nature of life. Alcohol during this time becomes a celebratory lubricant and a way to escape sorrows temporarily.
Here are some tips to help with managing the holidays.
- Don’t expect too much.
- Try to figure out what you truly want, not what marketers tell you to want. It’s okay to stay home on New Year’s Eve and go to bed by 10:00 P.M.
- Go easy on the alcohol.
- You don’t have to spend a lot of money.
- Keep working out.
- Establish traditions with your own family and group of friends.
- Remember those who have gone.
- Setting goals for the new year is a good idea, but they need to be realistic. Set them in three-month intervals, at which times they can be reviewed and revised.
- Be kind and generous to others; the holiday spirit is what truly matters.