The President puffed out his chest and banned several news networks from attending White House briefings. In response to free speech proponents, Mr. Trump claimed he was protecting the public from fake news.
This was one of those cases of “be careful what you wish for.” Apparently, the president didn’t stop to consider the power the press held or that they didn’t have to just take his latest attack sitting down. They did not. The different networks united and refused to provide pool coverage of presidential events. Trump has been skilled at using the media to fire up his base and get loads of free publicity. He didn’t stop to think about what he was doing or the ramifications. He was acting on the belief that he could do anything and get away with it. Once he said he could go down Fifth Avenue and shoot someone, and nothing would happen. That’s how the man thinks. In this case, he was wrong.
The press’s behavior evokes the Boston Tea Party, an important event in our nation’s history. The press is standing up to a bully who is trying to turn reality upside down. It’s well documented that the president has told many lies, and when he calls the press “fake news,” it’s clear he’s unwittingly talking about himself.
People are more productive and creative when their basic needs are satisfied. They are happiest, as research on happiness in Scandinavian countries demonstrates. A population that is productive, educated, and relatively secure helps a nation grow. Wouldn’t a government want to develop programs with that goal in mind?
Programs that reduce benefits in healthcare, education, research, and aid increase anxiety, insecurity, and demoralization. They also hinder progress in fields like medicine, engineering, and the arts. Is this what we want as a nation? Shouldn’t the needs of the people be the main factor in programs created by a country’s leadership?
When wealthy individuals in their ivory towers become too disconnected from the wider population, they often abandon the values of compassion, understanding, and empathy. Too often, a cynical attitude toward those who are disenfranchised replaces a genuine understanding of how people end up where they are in life. They develop a “Let them eat cake” attitude and bask in arrogant self-righteousness.
I remember a friend who grew up wealthy, which allowed him to attend the best schools. He told me about the hard work he put into his profession when we discussed societal inequality. I couldn’t disagree, but I didn’t think he realized that many people worked just as hard as he did. What about the single mother who juggles two or three jobs to feed her family, or the student who goes to college full-time while working 40 hours a week?
The question shouldn’t be, ‘Don’t I deserve more?’ but rather, how can we find a way for all people to get what they need to thrive and succeed? In that way, the population grows, as does the nation.
Like most professions, psychology has a code of ethics that guides practitioners’ behavior. Early in graduate school, students learn what’s appropriate and what isn’t. Supervision is guided by ethical principles, and by the time a student graduates from a professional school in psychology, he or she is well-versed in ethics. The guidelines for psychologists mainly center on maintaining clear boundaries with clients.
Professionals can’t date patients, accept financial tips from patients, accept large gifts, go into business with a client, or take advantage of their patients in any way. Psychologists must practice within their area of expertise. Such ethical dictates are easy to understand and make sense.
One would expect our government leaders to provide leadership guided by ethical principles. Like mental health professionals, they should respect boundaries. It seems simple. Is it? The FBI has always operated independently of the White House, as has the Department of Justice. Kennedy wanted to get rid of J. Edgar Hoover, the head of the FBI, but he didn’t because he respected the departments’ sovereignty. President Trump has weaponized departments like the D.O.J. and the F.B.I. to strike his enemies, such as James Comey. Boundaries have been rendered irrelevant.
The current president is accepting gifts from foreign governments. He received a plane from one government. What price will he pay? The president is actively trading on the stock market and making huge profits. Isn’t this a conflict of interest, since, by the nature of his office, he has insider information?
The Administration is full of people practicing outside their areas of competence. What qualifications do Robert Kennedy or Kav Patel have for their jobs? The head of the disappearing Department of Education ran a wrestling league, and the list goes on. Would you want a dermatologist performing heart surgery or a realtor installing a water heater?
Jared Kushner, the president’s son-in-law and a chief negotiator in the Middle East, has financial interests there and is raising funds for his business. At the same time, he’s negotiating a peace settlement with Iran. This would seem to be a basic conflict of interest and an ethical breach.
The above are just a few examples of ethical violations in the highest offices in our country. How is it that the President of the United States has repeatedly received a free pass, while a 22-year-old psychology student is reprimanded for the slightest deviation from their profession’s code of ethics? How is this possible?
So, what does entitlement mean? In Europe, people held titles such as earls, barons, or lords. The main idea was that they enjoyed special privileges because of their titles. They lived in specific places, ate certain foods, and received priority over people without titles. This was the English tradition for centuries and remains so today. The best example is the King and Queen. Do you think they have trouble getting tickets to Wimbledon? Probably not.
When the unhappy colonists arrived in the United States, they were committed to creating a society where all men are equal. They grew tired of the privileged few ruling over them and controlling their actions. They were revolutionaries, focused on their fight for independence.
Although the New Americans abandoned traditional European titles like baron and lord, new titles quietly entered American culture. On the East Coast, where I grew up, people take pride in claiming descent from those who arrived on the Mayflower. They believe this grants them a pedigree and a special status in society. It’s funny because the folks on that ship were probably rebellious, rough-around-the-edges people. They weren’t high-society types.
Over time, new ways to assess status and titles emerged in the United States, even as society broadly valued “you are what you do.” Privilege persisted for those who attended certain prestigious schools. Owning a business or living in specific neighborhoods also indicated your social standing. Living in Newton, Massachusetts, held a different social meaning than residing in city housing in Roxbury or Dorchester.
There are many reasons why people believe they are special. They might be attractive, smart, or athletic. They could be a doctor, a lawyer, or a professor. Perhaps they grew up with limited resources and now feel entitled to what they perceive as their rights as adults. Whatever the reason, many people believe they deserve special privileges. They don’t want traffic tickets and want to go first in line. They don’t always follow the rules that the rest of us do.
One of the benefits of aging is realizing that symbols of superiority don’t matter. Feeling comfortable with yourself and finding a meaningful path brings peace. It is like the salmon swimming its own route upstream to its home: mission accomplished.
The United States Men’s Olympic Hockey Team defeated Canada in overtime, 2-1, in the Gold Medal Game. It was a tough game, and the US were fortunate to come out on top against a strong, fast, and aggressive Canadian team. If it weren’t for the US goalie, the team could have easily been 5 or 6 to 1 in Canada’s favor.
Inside the locker room, not surprisingly, the players and coaching staff were jubilant. Champagne and beer flowed, spirits were high, and for many players, this was the pinnacle of their careers. The players were all professionals from different National Hockey League teams. They had been born in America, and they had defeated a team from Canada whose national sport is ice hockey.
It’s probably fair to say that at least 80% of Canadians watched the game. It was a tough loss for the Canadians, who take pride in their hockey skills. The Americans are always the underdogs when they face the Canadians, so a victory initiates a joyful celebration.
Narcissists struggle to keep their vessel full. Why? Fill it up and move on. It is not that easy because the vessel empties as soon as it is filled.
People with strong narcissistic tendencies often feel empty and carry a long-standing sense of inadequacy. They doubt their ability to be loved, and many develop a sense of grandiosity, which masks their underlying self-contempt. Power, control, and dominance become ways to prove to themselves and others that they are strong, worthy, and valuable.
The problem is that their strategies don’t work. There is never enough. As the vessel empties, they must fill it with new feel-good supplies. Like Sisyphus, they must keep pushing the rock uphill, only to see it roll back. They are doomed to live with an empty self, no matter how much they accumulate.
Narcissists have trouble taking responsibility. They want to avoid blame and criticism because they are vulnerable and fragile. Criticism typically provokes a strong defensive response. They are not strangers to rage.
Narcissistic seniors often struggle with aging. As their abilities and powers begin to fade, they sometimes panic. Think of the Hollywood mogul who had to surround himself with beautiful young women, fancy cars, and a showcase home. It is harder to fill a vessel in old age, and aging for the self-centered set can lead to depression and despair … and, sadly, to the destruction of a 250-year-old nation.
I was hiking with Mt. Travel Sobek many years ago in Eastern Europe. One day, we traversed the border between Poland and Slovakia before visiting a spa in Poland. The place had been a favorite of Russian leaders during the Cold War, and we were all curious about it.
The place was a large cement building with big busts of communist leaders out front. The structure was plain and sparse. We entered the building and walked down a long hallway. I noticed right away how much wasted space there was. The hallway was wide and tall—big enough for an army to pass through.
And so, it continued—large rooms after large rooms, grand and pompous, as if the spaces were puffing out their chests. I thought of Khrushchev pounding his shoe on the desk at the United Nations. This facility was sending a message, communicating grandeur and apparent strength. What was lacking was style, taste, and graceful artistry. It was a felt painting, not a Rembrandt or a Picasso. Where the sounds of Mozart might have resonated within the halls, we only heard the heaviness of a Wagner piece.
Later, we entered dark rooms made of stone and steel where a group of masseuses helped our group “relax.” My “therapist” was a grim, humorless woman who had worked too many years and was not paid enough. Sad and forlorn, she symbolized the structure she worked in and the oppressive Communist regime beyond its walls that had troubled and suppressed much of Eastern Europe.
Governments can easily become hidden centers of narcissism without proper checks and balances. Power can serve as a powerful drug that quickly becomes addictive. Once a government begins honoring its leader with grand monuments, parades, and awards, it’s on a dangerous path.
Compassion and understanding of a nation’s problems can fall by the wayside to greed and grandiosity. Power and wealth can become strong magnets that attract the minds of weak men, only interested in themselves.
The American Psychological Association, among others, has ethical guidelines that prevent clinicians from diagnosing individuals who are not their patients. This policy is a sensible measure that shields the public from reckless practices. It doesn’t mean that a psychologist cannot comment on the actions of public figures, just as all citizens are free to do.
Furthermore, organizations like the San Diego Psychological Association have a tax status that prevents them from taking political positions.
The current situation in our country goes beyond just politics and parties. On the surface, we see the usual government and political system. But the reality is that the President is eroding democracy at the expense of the American people.
Many people have discussed the President’s speech. He appears confused, unaware of basic facts, and rambles in a fanciful manner, citing false accomplishments. Many also note that the press hasn’t been aggressive in critically examining what’s obvious to anyone watching film clips of the President speaking. If an 8-year-old watched Trump on TV, he might say, “Mom, what’s wrong with that guy? He doesn’t make sense.” Why is he president?
Authoritarian governments are gaining strength worldwide. Why do people permit one person or a group to dictate their future? History has demonstrated that such leadership rarely leads to positive results.
Many people admire a leader they can idolize and see as powerful. They feel secure under the guidance of a paternal figure. They believe their leader is all-knowing and will protect them and their country. They worry little and prioritize loyalty to their brand. They sacrifice independence for perceived safety and stress relief.
Many people struggle to acknowledge flaws in the leader they’ve chosen. They want him to be larger than life. Many authoritarian leaders understand this and exploit it by spreading paranoia. They blame others for their failures instead of taking ownership. Even when the Bay of Pigs failed, Kennedy said, “I take full responsibility.” An authoritarian leader wouldn’t do that; instead, he would blame someone else for the failure.
Hitler’s goose-stepping troops, dressed in their well-fitted uniforms, conveyed a sense of strength, order, and control. His followers absorbed the power the troops projected. Catchy music over loudspeakers helped energize his supporters and created a patriotic high. Like fans cheering for the home team, these patriots were ready to give their man their full support.
Governments that rely on propaganda become skilled at knowing what to say to whom. They seduce and persuade those seeking influential figures to take control and act as their guides in life. Their leaders are adept at maneuvering them to fight against enemies, real or imagined.
