Frank Stone was a simple man. He found joy in growing vegetables, walking with his German Shepherd, Bo, watching TV sports, and visiting his Grandchildren. But his true sanctuary was the past 50 years he spent with his wife, Nelly, on the serene shores of the Ammonusic River in Bethlehem, New Hampshire.
Since he had retired from his job as a mechanic at the Chevy dealer in Littleton, Frank enjoyed hiking in the awe-inspiring White Mountains two or three days a week. Nelly supported this activity and occasionally joined him in climbing one of the Twins Peaks or Mt. Eisenhower.
Like the river by their home flowed smoothly, Frank and Nelly Stone enjoyed their retirement. Nelly still worked at Lahouts General Store in Littleton, selling outdoor gear. The place was an institution in the north country, having been present for 60 years. Nelly was a favorite of locals and tourists because of her irreverent ways, “wise guy” attitude, and desire to help customers.
I enjoy solving problems and the process of creating something new. I’m addicted to the trance state of work-absorption. This addiction has led me to search for a fix in program design, photography, wood carving, aquariums, bonsai, musical instruments, etc., and, of course, the multifaceted practice of psychology.
Creativity demands imagination and a certain tolerance for ambiguity. Einstein famously said that “imagination is more important than knowledge,” but never said knowledge was pointless. The building blocks of creative ideas and imagination come from synthesizing information and experience marinating in our unconscious. Imagination is about transcending a rigid structure to utilize this knowledge. Music is an excellent example of this. Some artists devote their talent to performing a musical piece precisely as it’s been composed, while others are driven to create their music. The story goes that the Beatles never learned to read music. They wanted to create something unique without being held back by formal rules of composition…and they succeeded.
I am her daughter; I speak her language We do not speak in words or tones We speak a language of our own I hear her voice in the rushing river I see her light captured in the morning dew I taste her in the passing wind I feel her in the heat of the summer
I hate the summer The scorching heat that you cannot escape No matter how many layers you shed Mosquitos and their hideous bites The endless pools of sweat dripping from my brow I hate summer, I hate summer, I hate summer
Autumn comes around and I seek refuge in her embrace I dance in her beige and red irises, I sing in her crisp voice I bask in her golden light, her smile warm and welcoming The leaves fall, a colorful mirror of my mother’s tears Her scents are a blessing in the autumn season She brings us pumpkins and apples She grows our crops, the crops we consume with greed
Winter freezes the ground, a symbol of her pain She covers the ground with permafrost as a form of punishment She calls to the animals to seek safety from the biting cold She sends warnings to society in the form of torrential downpours of rain and sleet My mother kisses the ground, leaving trails of frost and snow in her wake She covers the skeletal branches with blankets of Snow She brings a deadly beauty with her in the winter
In the spring, my mother becomes Demeter and me, Persephone I am truly my mother’s daughter in the warmer months Together, we grow and plant, we fertilize and water. Spring showers make flowers bloom I take care of her flowers, I preserve her beauty when others destroy it My people’s harvest is inherent on the blessing of my mother In the spring, I hold my mother’s hand as she graces the soil with her love
I am her daughter; we speak our own language a language only we know A language spoken in colors and in sounds A language spoken in blessings and in prayers In life and in death In growth and in destruction In the changing of seasons and the golden light of the tears she sheds
Avery Panepinto Age 15
Avery Panepinto wrote this poem in ten minutes as part of her 9th-grade creative writing class assignment. She is the granddaughter of Katherine Quinn, Ph.D., Past President and Fellow of SDPA.
Growing up in a small rural town in Massachusetts, I was enamored with baseball like many friends. Our town had little to do, and baseball was the main summer activity. We had numerous empty spaces near our homes, and we filled them up after school and on weekends playing ball. I rode my bike to a local school on Saturdays and played on an organized team. At ten years of age, I hit a home run, a high point in my life, but the other team said I didn’t touch the plate. Was that true? I’ll never know, but the kind umpire called it a home run.
All of us collected baseball cards, and we became familiar with the players. I knew more about Mickey Mantle and Roy Campanella’s lives than those of my parents. On Saturdays, we took the bus into Boston as part of the Knothole Gang and saw the Red Sox or the Boston Braves play. Later, my friend and I stationed ourselves halfway between Fenway and the Kenmore Hotel and led the players to shortcuts so they wouldn’t be besieged by autograph seekers. We failed to see the irony in that, but the strategy did work, and I met a lot of players and got autographs.
Here is a light lunch that is easy to make. If you have leftover chicken or veal cutlets, cut a small piece. Place a slice of tomato and a poached egg on the cutlet. Add salsa if you wish. The dish makes for a tasty, small lunch.
In 2023/2024, the SDPA Aging Issues Committee produced six ninety minute Zoom presentations entitled Later-Life Transitions Luncheon Series. Topics covered in this series included Retirement, Loss of Physical Capabilities, Moving to a Senior Facility, Becoming Caregiver to a Family Member, Loss of a Spouse/Partner and The Final Transition. A summary of the material covered in each of the six series presentations will be published in Age in Action in monthly installments .
The second topic Loss of Physical Capabilities was facilitated by Cynthia A. Cotter, Ph.D. and Kenneth S. Dellefield, Ph.D. on June 16, 2023 and covered vision, hearing, vestibular and musculoskeletal systems.The summary below covers the material presented on vision.
VISION
AGE-RELATED DEGENERATION. Our eyes degenerate as we age and this impacts our vision in a number of ways:
We have less visual acuity, that is, the world is less clear. We are less able to focus on specific objects or to read so there is increased risk for eye strain or headache, particularly when using digital devices or TV.
Our eyes let in less light and there are fewer receptors in our eyes. We require ahigher amount of illumination for our visual receptors to properly register visual information.
We have reduced color discrimination so it is harder to read labels and recognize pills. It is more difficult to tell whether clothes are matched or dirty.
We are less able to adapt to changes in light and darkness. It takes longer for us to adjust to a dark room or when coming out into the sun.
We have greater difficulty with glare.
Finally we experience reduced peripheral vision that might cause us to miss objects that we need to avoid in our environment.
I was lucky to be invited to dinner at the home of longtime friends David Wexler and Connie Brunig some time ago. I have known David and Connie for 40 years and have seen them regularly. Both have become highly respected psychologists with many friends in the community. Through the years, it’s been meaningful to check in with each other at different points in our lives. It’s as if we have been on a conveyor belt traveling through the lifecycle, appreciating each other’s developmental progress.
David may be one of the few in the history of graduate psychology education who owned a restaurant while attending his Ph.D. program. Is he a good cook? Ask any of his friends. Connie is an excellent therapist, in addition to being a talented writer. Years ago, she was an able editor of the San Diego Psychologist. She reads voraciously and is an intellectually curious person.
David is a nationally known author, therapist, and workshop leader. I once saw a patient who was extolling the praises of Dr. Wexler’s book. He wanted to improve his marriage, and I said, “Why don’t you and your wife see him? He is just down the road?” He did and improved his marriage significantly.
People are living longer than their joints. Most seniors have had a knee replacement, a hip replacement, some shoulder work, or metal in their back or know someone who has. You want a successful outcome if you are going to go through surgery and all that entails, which can be money, time, suffering, and a period of incapacitation. Here are some steps to take.
Pick a good surgeon. Do your research and ask around.
Prepare your body for the surgery. Getting in shape before the procedure can significantly improve your recovery time and give you a sense of control over your health.
Talk to people who have had your surgery and learn from their experience.
Follow the recommendations of your doctor and physical therapist regarding the recovery process. Do research.
Set up progressive goals that will allow you to improve incrementally. For instance, if you can walk a little further each day with a new hip without pain, do it, but don’t try to do too much too soon. Patience is required.
Stay within your limits. I know three people who dislocated their new hip by trying to do too much too soon.
Reward yourself with treats along the way. Mark your progress with mini celebrations.
Make follow-up appointments with your providers.
If you follow a sensible, step-by-step progress plan approved by your treating professionals, you are giving yourself a chance at a successful rehabilitation outcome. This way, you’ll feel good about the process, which can become a meaningful experience.
Recently, my wife and I went to Cacio E Pepe: Trattoria Romana in North Park with friends. The restaurant had a very modest dining room that resembled a cafeteria. Our waitress, Gloria, was inexperienced but pleasant and fun. We ordered a martini, which was marginal since the restaurant only had one type of gin, and the woman who made the drink was off with her proportions. It made little difference as we enjoyed ourselves, and the restaurant was full of seemingly happy, local diners. There was a nice vibe about the whole place. And then the food came.
All our plates were delicious. I had cacio e pepe, my wife, Vicki, had eggplant parmesan, Sue had pesto pasta with muscles, and Haig ordered pasta bolognese. For dessert, we shared a tiramisu and a cannoli plate. Two of us had decaf espresso.
Since the food was so good, I was curious about the chef, and Gloria told me that he was from Rome. Later research revealed that he had worked at several Italian restaurants around San Diego. The man was clearly talented, and his food was excellent. The restaurant is a distance from our home, but I found it opens at 4:00. I will return at some point. The prices were reasonable, and the food was beyond good.
