November 2025

Coping with Uncertainty…

America, Its Mental Health…and a Call to Action

The American Psychological Association, among others, has ethical guidelines that prevent clinicians from diagnosing individuals who are not their patients. This policy is a sensible measure that shields the public from reckless practices. It doesn’t mean that a psychologist cannot comment on the actions of public figures, just as all citizens are free to do.

Furthermore, organizations like the San Diego Psychological Association have a tax status that prevents them from taking political positions.

The current situation in our country goes beyond just politics and parties. On the surface, we see the usual government and political system. But the reality is that the President is eroding democracy at the expense of the American people.

Many people have discussed the President’s speech. He appears confused, unaware of basic facts, and rambles in a fanciful manner, citing false accomplishments. Many also note that the press hasn’t been aggressive in critically examining what’s obvious to anyone watching film clips of the President speaking. If an 8-year-old watched Trump on TV, he might say, “Mom, what’s wrong with that guy? He doesn’t make sense.” Why is he president?

The Last Word

Once upon a time, I bought a single lime.
Unbeknownst to me, it was rotten as could be.
I put it in a sack with a plan to take it back
But the seller laughed at me and denied my refund plea.

I felt my face grow red I whacked him in the head
Yet, he gave no heed to me, rather, he turned away in glee
And then turned back and said, “I’d rather see you dead,
Because you struck me on my head”

“Than give you a single dime for your claim about your rotten lime.”
Next came a thought about the lime I’d bought
What if I feigned the dreadful act the seller wished in vain?
What if I did fall upon the ground as if death itself had struck me down?!

I ‘d act as if I’d died, my revenge fulfilled and satisfied.
So, I sank to the sod with a wink and a nod
Before the gathered crowd, with a convincing cry so loud
Men gasped in dismay; women fainted in their most dainty way.

I fell as if I’d slipped into the spell of death’s final grip.
Oh, I was so proud of my display before the sympathetic crowd.
The salesman stepped forward, horrified, convinced that I had died.
He pled with all his might, “Here, take your dime for your rotten lime.”

“Take it back, my brother. In fact, I’ll give you another.”
I, on the other hand, was so pleased with my plan
That I lay there day to day, my feigned death on display.
Retribution felt so sweet, but the price of it led to my defeat.

In fact, I’m still lying there today.
So, if you pass along my way,
Just bow your head and say,
“Oh, that’s the man who passed away when”

“He came to claim a single dime for a single rotten lime.
His pride was strong; his vanity had such a grasp
That after he feigned his death
He succumbed at last to death’s grasp
Because he declined to accept a single dime
for a single rotten lime.”

Dick Millspaugh is a retired Board Certified Hospital Chaplain ordained by the United Methodist Church. He was previously Chief of Chaplains at the VA San Diego Healthcare System. Dick and his wife currently reside in Scripps Ranch. He enjoys writing poetry, woodworking, ceramics, and playing Bocce Ball.

Home Run

People often seek a home run as their primary source of fulfillment. We enjoy big trips, cash bonuses, and dinners at fancy restaurants. Who doesn’t feel pride when their son or daughter gets into the college they want? When a daughter scores two goals in a soccer game, what parent isn’t proud? Awards and honors are the extra treats that bring us joy. These moments, rightly so, give happiness and purpose, and they are essential. But home runs are rare, and most of us live in the world of singles and maybe a double now and then.

Ongoing contentment is essential for a satisfying life, but it’s more easily disrupted by what’s missing than by what’s gained. Sometimes, a small mishap can throw everything off course. When your garage door opener breaks down, how do you feel after a long day? What about when your internet goes out or your car won’t start? Life runs smoothly when everything is going well, but a tiny change can make a big difference. Like a splinter, a minor problem can disturb life’s balance. A twisted ankle, a stubborn cough, and construction noise can all disrupt normal functioning.

When things are in harmony, we often overlook them and focus on the big wins or the absence of setbacks. Valuing what is normal and familiar is crucial because it underscores the importance of maintaining balance in life. Smoothness feels good, but it can vanish suddenly. Cherish it!

Running Through Time

Paris was hot and steamy in August 2001. My wife, Vicki, and I stopped there for a few days before traveling to Corsica, where we would meet our hiking group from Mountain Travel/Sobek, the adventure travel company, to begin six days of hiking on the rugged island.

Our first afternoon in Paris was challenging because the temperature was over 90 degrees, and we were jet-lagged. We walked, took a nap, and ate early at a restaurant near our hotel. I was glad when it was time to go to bed because I was tired. But at three in the morning, I woke up fully energized! The idea crossed my mind that I might go jogging, but I told myself, “You don’t know the terrain; you don’t speak French, and are you crazy?” Soon after, I slipped into my jogging shoes and headed for the hotel lobby. No one was around, and I ran out the front door.

I went to the River Seine, a few blocks away, and headed into the city. I didn’t expect to see many people since it was the middle of the night, but I was wrong. People were everywhere. Patrons were streaming out of bars, lovers strolled along the river, and groups of young people sat on the Seine’s banks, smoking and talking.

I felt good now as I ran smoothly along the river. The scene energized me, and I thought I could run for hours. At one point, I crossed the river and headed in the opposite direction. Eventually, I reached the cathedral of Notre Dame, which looks so imposing at night. The grounds around it had a spooky feeling, so I quickly moved on, heading toward the Isle of St. Louis. There were fewer people now as I ran over the cobblestone streets. I felt free.

Finally, I headed back toward the hotel. At one point, I got lost, but I tried to stay calm, knowing there were plenty of landmarks nearby. Finally, I navigated my way out of an industrial area and found the street I wanted. I rang the bell at our small hotel and went to my room after the night clerk let me in. I rested for a while before waking up again and heading out to see the sights.

Later, we hiked in wild Corsica and explored the beautiful rural island of Sardinia. After spending time in Sicily, we headed for Rome. There were many adventures in these fascinating places, but I’ll never forget that night in Paris when I ran through time.

Narrative Therapy for Older Adults

Older adults may face psychological challenges such as unresolved trauma, accumulated grief, and the stress of major life transitions such as retirement, declining physical health, and the loss of loved ones. These experiences can significantly impair emotional well-being and quality of life. Despite older adults demonstrating comfort with discussing mental health concerns, a substantial portion remain hesitant to seek care (Gerlach, 2021). Research on the efficacy of therapeutic interventions for this population remains limited, largely due to underrepresentation and a lack of longitudinal studies.

Narrative therapies, including Narrative Exposure Therapy (NET), Written Exposure Therapy (WET), Life Review Therapy, and Reminiscence Therapy, offer promising interventions for older adults. By integrating autobiographical material, these evidence-based therapies engage older adults in reflective and meaning-making processes that have been shown to yield therapeutic benefits, particularly in the context of grief, trauma, and identity transitions. These modalities additionally support emotional processing, foster autonomy, and help empower older adults to build resilience in the face of adversity.

The 18th Hole

Seniors face many similar responsibilities. We need to make decisions about asset allocation and consider care options in case of mental or physical disabilities, or if we want to move to a service-oriented setting like assisted living.

Additionally, there’s the question of what kind of memorial service or funeral one prefers. I recently thought about this, and it turned out to be less simple than I initially believed. As I began to ponder, I realized a memorial service should reflect the person who has passed away. What did I want?

I knew I didn’t want an invitation-only event. I wanted one open to anyone who wished to attend. If affordable, I would provide food and drinks. The idea of my friends sharing a martini seemed fitting and comforting. My service should reflect who I was and how I had lived.

I chose speakers who knew and understood me. My main speaker would be insightful and realistic: his comments would be grounded in his experience with me.

I also decided to write my own obituary. Too often, I saw obituaries that read more like nominations for sainthood than honest summaries of real lives. I knew the important things that had shaped me better than anyone.

I told my wife, Vicki, to make changes as needed. Any program needed to be practical and realistic.

Having things in order is beneficial. When I swing my nine iron towards the green, my mind is clear.

Pete’s Seafood and Sandwich

The Maine Coast in North Park…

Listen up, New Englanders. If you miss fried clams as much as I do, you’re in luck. Pete’s Seafood, an informal take-out and casual sit-down sandwich shop, serves outstanding fried clams. I asked Pete about his claims, and he told me they are transported from the waters of Maine to Ipswich, Mass., then quickly shipped to San Diego. His clams are equal to those I recently ate in restaurants in Essex, Mass., and Searsport, Maine.

From Redding, Mass., Pete has been in San Diego for fifteen years. His Massachusetts accent easily gives him away, and yes, when I left the shop, I could still smell the sweet scent of the Atlantic Ocean.

Happy Holidays?

We are supposed to be happy during the holidays. After all, Santa is cheerful, bright colors fill the scene, gifts are exchanged, and Christmas and New Year’s parties are everywhere. People say, “Merry Christmas” and “Happy New Year,” not “Depressed New Year.” Even Scrooge turns around in the end. So why do so many adults struggle to get through the holidays without feeling down, depressed, sad, or lonely?

Part of the problem is that adults are the ones managing Christmas, not the beneficiaries, as they were in their childhoods. After reaching a certain age, Christmas can never feel the same for many people. The magic of waking up to presents, a beautiful tree, and a cozy fire (if you live in New England!) is now replaced by hurried shopping for gifts, paying bills, and trying to balance work with holiday commitments. Reminiscing about an idealized past can bring about feelings of painful nostalgia, sadness, and loneliness.

The New Year, in some ways, brings the promise of better things to come, but it also stirs feelings about past failed expectations and disappointments. It emphasizes the passage of time and the fleeting nature of life. Alcohol during this time becomes a celebratory lubricant and a way to escape sorrows temporarily.

Here are some tips to help with managing the holidays.

Don’t expect too much.
Try to figure out what you truly want, not what marketers tell you to want. It’s okay to stay home on New Year’s Eve and go to bed by 10:00 P.M.
Go easy on the alcohol.
You don’t have to spend a lot of money.
Keep working out.
Establish traditions with your own family and group of friends.
Remember those who have gone.
Setting goals for the new year is a good idea, but they need to be realistic. Set them in three-month intervals, at which times they can be reviewed and revised.
Be kind and generous to others; the holiday spirit is what truly matters.

Netflix: The Penguin Lessons

Currently streaming on Netflix, The Penguin Lessons is an engaging, psychologically complex film. A burned-out teacher accepts a position at an elite, private school in Argentina, as a revolution unfolds across the country. He is disinterested in his job, his students, and his life.

On a beach holiday, he rescues an oil-covered penguin whom he takes back to his school. Eventually, the penguin plays a crucial role in his life and that of others, and through his relationship with the bird, the hero regains his courage, self-esteem, and ability to love others.

The film is touching and powerful while remaining relevant to these times.