March 2026

Coping with Uncertainty…

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Tarnished Gold

The United States Men’s Olympic Hockey Team defeated Canada in overtime, 2-1, in the Gold Medal Game. It was a tough game, and the US were fortunate to come out on top against a strong, fast, and aggressive Canadian team. If it weren’t for the US goalie, the team could have easily been 5 or 6 to 1 in Canada’s favor.

Inside the locker room, not surprisingly, the players and coaching staff were jubilant. Champagne and beer flowed, spirits were high, and for many players, this was the pinnacle of their careers. The players were all professionals from different National Hockey League teams. They had been born in America, and they had defeated a team from Canada whose national sport is ice hockey.

It’s probably fair to say that at least 80% of Canadians watched the game. It was a tough loss for the Canadians, who take pride in their hockey skills. The Americans are always the underdogs when they face the Canadians, so a victory initiates a joyful celebration.

A Choice for Today

Aging lurks in the savannah grass,
Stalking us, its prey, before we pass
Spring-loaded haunches, silent, still,
Closing in to inflict its will.

Aging creeps close, by eons trained,
By its design, we suffer pain
It seeps into marrow, heart, and vein,
With cunning plan to declare its reign.

No nation stands, no tribe’s immune,
The march of age sets each to ruin.
It stalks the strong, it marks the frail,
And pride or fame will not prevail.

And yet within its shadowed arc,
A gentler gift still warms the heart:
Memories treasured, voices dear,
The taste of bread, a toast of cheer.

The silent sound of fresh falling snow
The places where only lovers go
The smell fresh-brewed coffee brings
The thrill of butterflies fall-colored wings.

Memories sweet, each to recall,
When bodies fall to aging’s call
And minds fuss and fret about what we forget,
Still hope endures, when love grows deep.

So within aging’s shadowed arc,
A gentler gift still warms our hearts:

We have today to touch, to live,
To love, to laugh, to learn, to forgive.
To breathe and sing, to weep and play —
What treasures come to us along our way.

And when we step beyond the grass,
May pain fall silent, may sorrow pass.
May new life creep up on us
To feed us wonder for eons plus.

May we greet old friends we hold dear
May troubles of our current strife disappear
May our fondest loving hopes come true
May there be eternal peace for me and you.

So within aging’s shadowed arc,
Healing gifts will warm our hearts:
With grace that holy love imparts.

With grace that only love imparts.

© Dick Millspaugh

Dick Millspaugh is a retired Board Certified Hospital Chaplain ordained by the United Methodist Church. He was previously Chief of Chaplains at the VA San Diego Healthcare System. Dick and his wife currently reside in Scripps Ranch. He enjoys writing poetry, woodworking, ceramics, and playing Bocce Ball.

Legacies: Tom MacSpeiden

Thomas MacSpeiden, Ph.D. died on June 7, 2024. He was 89 years old. I first met Tom in 1974. He was the chief psychologist at San Diego County Mental Health (CMH). At that time, CMH had clinics in separate locations throughout the county and an inpatient unit, and each location employed a psychologist and a psychology intern. Times were different then. CMG had a strong medical/psychiatric team, and a psychologist had to prove his worth. Tom led the way with tremendous resolve and vigor.

In addition to his advocacy and work at CMH, Tom was active in the San Diego Psychological Association, which was then called the Academy of San Diego Psychologists. He served as our President in 1976. It is worth noting that Tom compiled the history of psychology in San Diego. It makes for interesting reading. I recommend it. See SDPA website under About Us.

Tom left county service and went into private practice as a clinical psychologist. In addition, he practiced forensic psychology with a subspecialty evaluating sexually violent predators, challenging work that involved going to prisons and state hospitals and testifying in court.

Tom MacSpeiden will be missed. He was one of those who paved the way.

Kay DiFrancesca, Ph.D.

Note: Dr. MacSpeiden was featured in the January 2024 issue of Age in Action. The article entitled In Harm’s Way He Stood Tall told the story of his work with a developmentally disabled adult who was unfairly accused of abusing children at a church day care center. Dr. MacSpeiden courageously exposed the case as preposterous and the result of a “witch hunt atmosphere” in the country.

Older Survivors of Sexual Violence: Countering Ageism and Systemic Invisibility

Despite growing awareness of sexual violence as a pervasive societal issue, the lived experiences of older adults remain conspicuously marginalized in research, policy, and clinical frameworks. While intersectional approaches to gender-based violence have reshaped advocacy and scholarship, age continues to be sidelined in these discourses. This oversight reinforces systemic invisibility and eclipses the compounded vulnerabilities of older women, whose realities are shaped by the convergence of structural ageism and systemic sexism. Such gaps undermine efforts to design equitable interventions that address gendered violence across the lifespan.

Nearly half of older adults report lifetime sexual victimization, with 8% experiencing it in the past year (Nobels et al., 2023). Contrary to enduring stereotypes, advanced age does not confer protection; in fact, physiological changes, cognitive decline, and social isolation often heighten vulnerability. However, fewer than 6% of survivors seek help and even fewer receive care tailored to age-specific needs (Nobels et al., 2023). Systemic underreporting is driven by a constellation of generational stigma, mobility limitations, dependency on caregivers (who may be perpetrators), and pervasive myths suggesting that older adults are asexual (Cook et al., 2011).

Pet Peeves

We all have pet peeves, and I try to monitor myself and make sure I’m not becoming a curmudgeon, but rather responding to events that would universally upset people. We’ve all met seniors who are overly critical and can only complain without ever looking at themselves. Years ago, I remember an elderly couple standing behind me while I was trying to cash a check at a supermarket. The process was taking longer than expected, and the couple started making derogatory comments about me. I was in my twenties at that point and had long hair. They started to build a case study as if they knew my entire life. It was very distasteful, and I walked away annoyed. I don’t want to become one of those people, but I do have pet peeves. Here are some, and what are yours?

The Cloud Floaters

The Cloud Floaters are people who walk in parking lots or cross streets, talking on their phones or listening to music. They are completely unaware of the traffic around them, and they believe others should look out for them. Even though the DMV clearly states in their handbook that pedestrians should always make eye contact with the drivers of the cars around them, these people ignore that rule and act as if they are invulnerable to danger. They also amble and take their time, as if they are perfectly entitled to control the streets and traffic.

Creativity in Retirement: Pete Libero

Pete Libero is a retired psychologist living in Encinitas. He was active in San Diego Psychological Association for many years and taught at California School of Professional Psychology San Diego. He is now seriously studying guitar, taking lessons, and playing with a group. Pete is a passionate hiker, skier and photographer.

A Moment in Time

What is a moment in time? It’s when you pause, capture the moment, and experience a feeling of awe. It might be seeing a beautiful sunset, hearing a favorite song, or noticing a captivating person. We’ve all had such moments, and they often come unexpectedly. A moment in time differs from person to person, because we are all shaped differently by our personality, history, and culture.

A few years ago, my wife and I explored the Trastevere area of Rome. This bohemian neighborhood, full of boutique shops and restaurants, is one of my favorites. After having pasta, a mixed salad, and fresh bread for lunch, we went into a local church where a wedding was happening. When I walked in, the priest turned to the guests and announced that everyone would now sing, “Ave Maria.” He then turned to a statue of the Holy Mother and led the congregation in song. The purity and simplicity of that moment stopped me in my tracks. It was truly a moment in time.

Local Elegance: A.R. Valentien

Would you like to step back in time and spend a few days at one of the great camps in the Saranac Lake region of upstate New York, or perhaps enjoy a martini on the porch of an elegant Craftsman home in Pasadena? Of course, you would, but you don’t have to go to New York or Los Angeles to experience such beauty and elegance. What am I talking about? The Lodge at Torrey Pines, furnished with beautiful Stickley furniture, overlooks one of the country’s top golf courses as it spreads out toward the Pacific Ocean. This stunning Craftsman structure houses a fine high-end restaurant called A.R. Valentien, in addition to its boutique cafe, the Grill.

Like the entire lodge, A.R. Valentien offers stunning views and an elegant atmosphere. Beautiful wooden floors and paneling run throughout both the restaurant and hotel. I recently had the pleasure of dining there with close friends. The restaurant serves a range of dishes, including duck, sirloin steak, scallops, lamb, and sea bass.

The restaurant is a great spot for special occasions, mainly because it’s quite expensive; however, I felt the price matched the quality of our meal, and I would definitely want to go back. Valet parking is available free of charge if you’re dining at the hotel.

Netflix: Nuremberg

Nuremberg (2025), a movie currently on Netflix, is a timely film. Russell Crowe gives his usual excellent performance as Hermann Göring during his trial as a Nazi war criminal at the end of World War II. Remi Malek, an Academy Award winner, plays the psychiatrist tasked with understanding the minds of Göring and the other Nazi leaders. He conducts the Rorschach test to understand these men, which caught my interest because I taught the test for many years at a local graduate school, CSPP-San Diego. When I was teaching, I had a book of Nazi Rorschach test results, and my students often analyzed the tests to understand the minds of these evil men and to gain deeper insights into the test itself.

The psychiatrist, Dr. Kelly, becomes discredited in the film for violating many ethical principles and boundaries. After returning to America, he encourages different audiences to learn from history and strongly warns that what happened in Nazi Germany could happen elsewhere. His messages don’t resonate well with American audiences, and feeling hopeless, he took his own life years later.

In today’s world, one cannot ignore Dr. Kelly’s warnings as authoritarian control takes hold of our country and minorities are scapegoated through deportations and imprisonment. Detention centers are being built across the nation, and although they are not called concentration camps, the similarities are obvious. We, the citizens, must stay vigilant. Just like in Nazi Germany, education is being restricted, loyalists are in charge, and the government seems to have its own version of German brown shirts in its ICE troops. Like in Germany, propaganda is widespread, and the government often tries to discredit what its citizens see with their own eyes.