September 2022

Memories


memories are like
melting icicles
on a barn in Vermont,
colored red
on a country road
where the deer run 
near the beaver ponds,
as the years slip by 
and the seasons change,
like a clock in motion
a sundial at work
in the time of our lives.

The Last Frontier

When planning a journey, I think it’s always a good idea to know where you’re starting from, where you’re going, who your traveling companions will be, and most importantly, who you are. Retirement is a journey. 


I recently retired from my clinical practice, so I’m a newbie at being retired. Still, I prepared for retirement as a personal project and worked hard to get my practice and patients ready. One critical takeaway I’m learning from people I’ve talked to about retirement is: that despite common factors, everyone’s retirement is unique and personal. As psychologists, we focus on self-awareness, regardless of our professional activities or theoretical orientation. The question, ‘who am I’ is an existential must for psychologists to answer, first about ourselves and the patient, client, group, organization, etc., we are serving.  

Peter LiBero is a retired clinical psychologist. He continues to work as an executive coach and psychological consultant to management.

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Rosina’s

Rosina’s is an Italian restaurant run by an Italian woman and her two sons. In a park-like setting in Santa Luz, Rosina’s is comfortable and peaceful. The food is excellent and priced reasonably. On Tuesdays, there is no corkage fee for wine.

14701 Via Bettona, San Diego, CA 92127

Older Adults with ADHD (Part 2)

Katherine Quinn, Ph.D. interviewed Dr. Kathleen Nadeau on May 3, 2022 as a tease prior to the release of her book in September, “Still Distracted After All These Years,” where she reported the results of interviews of older adult individuals with ADHD and their functioning in later life.  Dr. Quinn’s interview questions presented below were based on Dr. Nadeau’s presentations and writings as well as highlights of her findings from her interviews for her book. 

The first of two parts of Dr. Quinn’s interview of Dr. Nadeau was presented in the July issue of Age in Action. The second is presented below.

Katherine Quinn, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice. She is a Past President and Fellow of SDPA. She was also previously Editor of the San Diego Psychologist.

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Travel by Water!

Many seniors can’t make the trips they once did due to various health problems. Does that mean we shouldn’t travel? No, the task is finding a trip matching your physical ability. In my case, I made many rigorous hiking and backpacking trips when I was younger. Arthritis in my back ended those activities, but I took my first river cruise a few years ago. AmaWaterways (Ama) was the company we chose to motor on the Danube from Bucharest, Romania, to Budapest, Hungary. Enjoying the company and that mode of travel, my wife and I recently completed a trip on the Douro River in Portugal with Ama.

Porto Portugal

So, how do these trips work? The structure of the trips is similar within Ama and from company to company, and I will use my trip to Portugal as an example.

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Don’t be a Curmudgeon!

Hospitals have their own cultures. Like casinos, there is no day or night as staff continuously arrive at a patient’s side with thermometers, blood pressure cuffs, needles, and orders to move a patient. Such intrusions can bring out the curmudgeon self in the best of us. 



When I was in a hospital years ago for my first hip replacement, I was amazed by the behavior of some patients. They were rude, demanding, entitled, and loud. I thought, who would want to treat them? Of course, that is the problem right there. Curmudgeon behavior is counterproductive. Common sense suggests that if you treat the staff well, they will care more about you. Your job is to get well; boorish behavior works against that goal.

Seriously ill people can’t be proactive and strategic in their roles as patients, but most of us can help our cause and leave feeling satisfied with our hospital stays. So, what should one do? The answer is not complicated.

  1. Give positive feedback.
  2. Be polite.
  3. Keep complaints to a minimum.
  4. Know the names of your caregivers.
  5. Use humor when you can ( I had a nurse who kept taking blood and I ended up calling her the Vampire Nurse. We shared  a lot of laughs).
  6. Ask questions. Accurate information can take the edge off a bad mood. It is easier to tolerate a procedure if you understand why it is done.
  7. Have an advocate who can help you if you can’t get the necessary information.
  8. Nowadays, most hospitals send surveys about a patient’s experience. Fill them out. Several times I have written letters to hospitals with specifics about positive experiences. Yes, the staff gets paid, but who doesn’t like to hear a positive comment?

Patienthood is an opportunity for creative expression. Doing it right can turn a potentially scary, unpleasant situation into one of mastery and accomplishment.

Tragedy: An Opportunity for Growth

We live in a culture that values youth, spending millions of dollars promoting anti-aging products. Most of us live with a fantasy that we should and will live a long, happy, healthy life. When illness or aging comes to our door, it can feel like an unwanted enemy barreling down upon us. Aging and disease can enter our awareness and lives often sooner than expected.


Staring into the heart of emotional and physical pain unflinchingly is a problematic part of our work that can arouse fear and worry in the mind and hearts of us therapists. We want and often consciously or unconsciously need to see progress in our patients’ eyes (I use patient because it is derived from the word sufferer).

Michelle Lalouche-Kadden, Ph.D. is a psychologist and psychoanalyst in private practice in Solana Beach. She works with adults of all ages.

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Be a Seal!

Are you looking for an adventure? Good swimmers, listen up! Drive to the Marine Room in La Jolla Shores. There is public beach access on the east side of the restaurant. Swim to La Jolla Cove. You can stop there and walk back or make a return swim. The current and swim fins help to make the swim relatively easy. Wear a wetsuit for warmth and buoyancy. 

VIEW MAP OF THE SWIM

View from Marine Room at La Jolla Shores to La Jolla Cove.

Tonno Roma

One can of Genova tuna in olive oil
Red onion
Fresh tomato
White vinegar
Salt 
Seasoned salt 
Pepper
Garlic salt
Basil

Put the contents of the tuna in a mixing bowl.
Add ample olive oil.
Add some white vinegar (key to having a sharp taste).
Add salt, pepper, seasoned salt, basil and garlic salt.
Slice some small pieces of red onion and then tomato. 
Add Mayo to bind the mix.

Serve on bread or cracker of your choice.