January 2026

Coping with Uncertainty…

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Government of the Self…

I was hiking with Mt. Travel Sobek many years ago in Eastern Europe. One day, we traversed the border between Poland and Slovakia before visiting a spa in Poland. The place had been a favorite of Russian leaders during the Cold War, and we were all curious about it.

The place was a large cement building with big busts of communist leaders out front. The structure was plain and sparse. We entered the building and walked down a long hallway. I noticed right away how much wasted space there was. The hallway was wide and tall—big enough for an army to pass through.

And so, it continued—large rooms after large rooms, grand and pompous, as if the spaces were puffing out their chests. I thought of Khrushchev pounding his shoe on the desk at the United Nations. This facility was sending a message, communicating grandeur and apparent strength. What was lacking was style, taste, and graceful artistry. It was a felt painting, not a Rembrandt or a Picasso. Where the sounds of Mozart might have resonated within the halls, we only heard the heaviness of a Wagner piece.

Later, we entered dark rooms made of stone and steel where a group of masseuses helped our group “relax.” My “therapist” was a grim, humorless woman who had worked too many years and was not paid enough. Sad and forlorn, she symbolized the structure she worked in and the oppressive Communist regime beyond its walls that had troubled and suppressed much of Eastern Europe.

Governments can easily become hidden centers of narcissism without proper checks and balances. Power can serve as a powerful drug that quickly becomes addictive. Once a government begins honoring its leader with grand monuments, parades, and awards, it’s on a dangerous path.

Compassion and understanding of a nation’s problems can fall by the wayside to greed and grandiosity. Power and wealth can become strong magnets that attract the minds of weak men, only interested in themselves.

To Sit With You

What nourishment
To sit with you
At the table
of your life

What nourishment
To hear with you
the pain of love’s
lost opportunities
turned to wine
aged to compassion
birthing empathy
for others from
the graves of
our shared losses

What nourishment
to be trusted by you
to be held
in your heart’s embrace
and to feel in your warmth
the call to life
a resurrection
of our hidden buried selves
longing to be loved into life

What nourishment
to sit at table
with you
to be…..
just to be…
and to know
and deeply feel
that each of us
is enough
just to be…
is enough

©Dick Millspaugh
11.04.2024

Dick Millspaugh is a retired Board Certified Hospital Chaplain ordained by the United Methodist Church. He was previously Chief of Chaplains at the VA San Diego Healthcare System. Dick and his wife currently reside in Scripps Ranch. He enjoys writing poetry, woodworking, ceramics, and playing Bocce Ball.

Senior Journeys: Changing the World

Hugh Pates, Ph.D. (left) with his brother Bishop Richard Pates (right) in Malawi.

Retired Bishop Richard Pates and his brother, local psychologist Hugh Pates, watched the native dancers in their bright tribal garments. People were happy and enthusiastic, and they had every reason to be, as they were celebrating a new boarding school that housed faculty and two hundred students. Many of the coed students were unfamiliar with how to use the shower and toilet when they first arrived at the school, and others were worried that a protective wall surrounded the school to shield them from potentially dangerous groups of men.

So where were the Pates brothers, and what was their role in all of this? The answer to the first question was Malawi in East Africa. A country with 21 million people, Malawi is the second poorest in the world, with 70% of its population living below the poverty line. Outside the few urban areas, there is little or no electricity or farm machinery, though much of the population tends small farms. Irrigation is primitive, and the population is largely uneducated.

Healthy Aging Strategies

Having worked with aging adults for years, I often hear, “I expected to get older, but I did not expect to face physical decline.” This is not just about aging; it’s about adjustment and change. If you’ve seen the “Live to 100: Secrets of the Blue Zones” docuseries, you know that there are places around the world where people live long and enjoy their lives. What do the people in these Blue Zones do to achieve such remarkable results? According to some of the interviewees, four key factors contribute to healthy aging and longevity: sleep, diet, physical activity, and community.

Interestingly, Peter Attia, MD, in his book “Outlive,” focuses on the same factors of healthy aging. So, it’s out there. Information is accessible, and most people have heard about it. Let’s discuss lifestyle changes that support healthy aging.

The Time Of The New Moon

Speak of a time of sorrow,
When the brave have fallen
And the moon has passed.
Time has traveled forth.
Bringing a new season,

When summer returns,
The sun will shine,
and the streams flow
through meadows,
where we once lay
watching the path
of the crescent moon,
the sparkle of the skies,
and hearing
the sound
of the silent wind.

History recycles
Bringing new lovers,
New times,
As the moon brings light,
Soon to fade
to the darkness of night
And the birth of new light.

A Journey To The Unknown

I bought myself a ring. It’s quite delicate. By that I mean it has a very thin band with tiny diamonds and a small pale amethyst, my birthstone, surrounded again by tiny diamond chips. The amethyst is a quatrefoil symbolizing my attempt at balance. And the best part is a surprising diamond-chip leaf that appears from the quatrefoil. To me, that symbolizes growth. I need to grow in this new time. This was an impulse buy, of course. I didn’t go shopping for this. It just appeared to me during a Black Friday shopping trip with my two daughters. And I knew I had to have it. So, I bought it.

It’s my ring to celebrate and remind me that I am starting a delicate new life. A new life without my husband. Just writing this brings tears to my eyes. I miss my steady and loving Bob so much. I could count on him to love me no matter what. With him, I was a part of a marriage. I had a best friend and confidant. Now I am alone.

It’s been two years since he died.

Encinitas Cafe

Encinitas Retro. Highway 101 runs through the middle of downtown Encinitas, where you can find numerous restaurants and shops. Hansen’s ski shop has been there forever, it seems, and the Self-Realization Fellowship is on the south end. It is a colorful, classic California beach town and the home of the Encinitas Café. Pete Libero and I stumbled upon this old-fashioned eatery a couple of years ago, and we meet for lunch there every couple of weeks.

What’s the appeal of this restaurant that closes at two every afternoon? For starters, the menu is large with breakfast and lunch items served during open hours. The food is tasty, inexpensive, and served in generous portions. For example, I often order an egg salad sandwich, and it comes with my choice of several salads or a generous bowl of soup.

Like the décor, the staff have been there a long time. Some are feisty, some not, but all are efficient and friendly. Since they are always there, it is easy to know the servers, and soon you become a regular. You can be sure your coffee cup will never be empty, and your meal will be served promptly from the kitchen.

Technology, Technophobia, and Older Adult Mental Health

While stereotypical narratives may suggest that older adults are unwilling, unable, or afraid to use technology, research has demonstrated that older adults are interested in and willing to use technologies (Mariano et al., 2021; Melenhorst et al., 2006; Mitzner et al., 2010). When considering the usage of novel forms of technology, older adults assess the costs and benefits, with the benefits ultimately informing their attitudes (Melenhorst et al., 2006; Mitzner et al., 2010). Negative stereotypes regarding older adults and technology may deter them from trying new technology, as they fear confirming these ageist notions (Mariano et al., 2021). This is particularly harmful, as older adults are a population that can significantly benefit from technology to improve their quality of life (Khosravi et al., 2016; Kruse et al., 2020; Sen et al., 2022).

Some older adults report technophobia – a dislike or discomfort with technology, such as computers and smartphones (Dong et al., 2025; Martin et al., 2019) – but much of this technophobia is driven by legitimate privacy concerns (Sun & Ye, 2023). Still, older adults are the fastest-growing group to use Facebook, with 32% of adults aged 65 and older using the platform despite privacy concerns (Kiger, 2018). The use of digital technology by older adults can help reduce social isolation, one of the most significant threats to life satisfaction among older adults (Khosravi et al., 2016; Sen et al., 2022). In addition to social media, the increased use of technology among older adults could facilitate access to telehealth, including videoconferencing psychotherapy (Backhaus et al., 2012), providing this population with accessible medical care that may reduce psychological distress (Kruse et al., 2020). Similarly, the emergence of advanced technology and artificial intelligence (AI) can aid in monitoring and maintaining the health of older adults, leading to significant improvements in physical well-being (Abadir et al., 2023). The use of technology by older adults to manage their health and medical needs can lead to a newfound sense of independence, increase their feelings of self-efficacy, and enhance their daily functioning (Abadir et al., 2023; Chen et al., 2023; Kruse et al., 2020). It appears that AI may exacerbate loneliness in older adults; however, loneliness seems to improve when the AI is embodied (e.g., robots or smart speakers) rather than disembodied (e.g., text-based chatbots; Dong et al., 2025).

Amazon Prime Video: Scent of a Woman

I recently watched this older film Scent of a Woman (1992) starring Al Pacino, who received the Academy Award for Best Actor for his role as Army Lt. Col. Frank Slade, a decorated, blind Vietnam War veteran who is planning a last blow out weekend prior to taking his own life. Charlie Simms, a scholarship student at an exclusive New England prep school, takes on the job of watching Frank over the Thanksgiving holiday. It happens that Charlie is drawn into a dilemma involving school mates in which he must make a difficult choice. The film explores complex themes of loss, redemption, despair, hope and, most importantly, integrity. Frank supports Charlie by delivering at his school what has now become a famous speech on the importance of doing the right thing even when it is against self interest. You may find the scene of particular interest given the issues with which our nation currently grapples. This is a film worth watching!